Cat's in the Cradle
by Liliumscribe
Summary: All's not well with Chiaki and Nodame. Will they find their way back to each other? Set a year after Chiaki becomes principal conductor of the Roux Marlet orchestra.
1. Chapter 1

Cat's in the Cradle  
  
_Disclaimer: The world of Nodame and all her characters belongs to Tomoko Ninomiya_  
Chapter 1

He was late… but he had desperately needed something to fortify him. Judging at the Conservatoire de Paris' annual piano competition was not something he was looking forward to. But somehow the conservatory's administrators had heard that he was in town and one of their regulars had taken ill at the last moment. Hence, it fell upon him to fill the role, after some cajoling, of course. He supposed he could have turned it down but he had many good memories there and Auclair could be very persuasive. He surmised that it would be the usual mixed bag and endless stream of participants ranging from the indifferent to the cream of the crop. If luck was on his side, this would be a good year. More importantly, if there was just the one… one memorable competitor was worth a hundred. It would make up for the lengthy, sometimes laborious nature of these events.

By the time he got there, the auditorium was packed. He shuffled his way to his seat and collapsed into it.

"Suffering from jetlag, I see." The judge on his right commented knowingly.

"Jetlag… I suppose you can call it that."

"The service in business class must be particularly good. Cognac, eh… lucky devil."

In spite of how he was feeling, he smiled. Baumont, who was seated to his right was known for his epicurean indulgences and obviously had tuned his olfactory senses to a fine degree. Before he could comment further, he heard a loud hush from the end of the row and everyone fell silent. The lights dimmed and the first contestant strolled in… a curvaceous Russian blonde… not bad looking if one cared for that sort of look… and then promptly took her place at the Steinway D.

She struck her first note. This signal the beginning. He and his colleagues now had the unenviable task of sifting and sorting through a whole gamut of sounds to select the three most deserving candidates.

Occasionally his mind would drift off to happier days in Paris… just to relieve himself of the tedium of watching and waiting. Baumont had the annoying habit of tapping his seat when he was excited and Pusson, on his left, constantly dozed off, giving off a gentle snore with astonishing regularity.

He listened absent-mindedly to the Ravel in the background while he was reminded of memories of his son tearing through the streets of Paris shouting "bonjour" to every bystander. Those were the days, he lamented wistfully. These days, he hardly saw his son.

"The next one looks to be a countryman of yours." Baumont had broken into his reverie.

_Huh?_

"Japanese, isn't it… Megumi Noda…"

"Yes… I suppose so. Female."

"The Revolutionary Etude… This should be interesting… Might even liven things up a little." There were chuckles all round. The last three were somewhat somber. The last one was particularly dour.

_Megumi Noda_… The name was familiar… where had he heard that name before?

He hadn't been back home for so long and had lost touch with the music scene there. Still there was a nagging feeling that he should know the name. Before he could think further, the lady herself made an appearance. To call her a lady seemed like a misnomer. In some ways, she seemed like a child but there was a determined air about her that gave her demeanor greater gravity.

The owner of the name was a stooped figure and had a rather awkward gait. Peering through her disheveled mop, she timidly sat down and gathered herself together. There was a moment's hesitation as if she was searching for an appropriate context but that was all. Once she began, there was something akin to an explosion… her fingers were flying furiously across the keys. She was a zealot on a mission and she would take it as far as she could. The left hand semi-quavers seemed effortless in her large, pale hands.

It was an intriguing interpretation of the etude… full of anguish and anger. On some level, it seemed wrong but on another it was as if the player was dragging her audience on an emotional journey that threatened to engulf them all.

What in the world could motivate a person to play like this… straddling between madness and exuberance? He didn't know but there was something unique about Megumi Noda… an indefinable charisma… a rare quality of being able to act as a bridge between the audience and the music. He stole a quick look at his fellow judges… they appeared equally mesmerized… even Pusson was wide awake shaking his head.

He was astonished that another pianist could evoke such strong emotions in him. A renowned pianist in his own right… jaded about life, harbouring all those regrets… and struggling to find a way to make peace with the past. For him, it has always been about the music… music came first… and he paid the price. In a way he had conquered the world but the world had left him empty because there was no one to share it with.

_Megumi Noda. Noda Megumi_. She stood up and bowed, and the room burst into applause. She looked taken aback but responded with a gleeful smile. It was hard to believe this child-like creature could find the dark side of Chopin and unleash its fury. She was definitely a name to watch.

Several others followed. Some with more technical rigor but there was something about the 23 year old Japanese girl that lingered in one's memory.

The judges deliberated, ranted and raved. But it had to be down to ten. Right in the middle of the list was Megumi Noda, the daughter of a seaweed farmer in Kyushu, Japan. Her performance of the Revolutionary Etude would be talked about for days.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Coming with us?"

"I don't think so… I'm tired and I'll just return to my hotel."

"How long are you in Paris for?"

"2 more weeks… Maybe a month even… It all depends…"

"Depends on what?"

"On how things turn out."

Baumont knew better than to probe further. The Japanese judge had a look about him that made it clear that he wasn't in any frame of mind for conversation. He simply nodded and made his way to his car. The Paris Conservatory annual piano competition was finally over and he was in no mood for socializing. The Japanese-born, international piano virtuoso was not in the mood for any kind of celebratory soiree. His visit to Paris, although not an unmitigated disaster as yet, had not gone as well as he would have liked. He had come to visit his son, whom he hadn't seen for 3 years and while the first meeting had its awkward moments, it had not been wholly unpleasant. The second encounter, on the other hand, ended in a host of angry words that he was loathe to recall. Father and son crossing swords about matters long past but still hovered between them unresolved. He sighed regretfully about the state of things. Truth be told, he didn't know what he had expected but he had hoped for better things. He blamed himself for not being there when his son needed him most but he wanted to make amends. If there was a way to expiate for his past sins, he would. His only fear was that he wouldn't have the opportunity.

As his conscience rebuked him sharply, he was compelled to turn his thoughts to more pleasant things. The annual competition at the Conservatory had been a welcome distraction. To his surprise, it had made his time in Paris somewhat more bearable. And that Noda Megumi… an odd creature. Nonetheless, the talent was there no doubt. From what he had seen, she had not yet reach the depths of her potential and could even become one of the great interpreters of Chopin.

She began with a lackluster Mozart and stormed home with Chopin's Heroic Polonaise to snatch third place. But just. A pianist traipsing on the edge… mercurial and brilliant… it was rare to see a musician so transparent in her execution. At times one could sense the shadowy figure of the Polish composer lurking in the background egging her on. But something was tormenting her in a way only a Chopin could expunge… if only for a moment.

The Japanese judge was interested and disturbed.

He lingered around on campus for some time and enjoyed a cigarette or two before rising and making his way to the practice rooms. Too long had he used his music to rationalize his decisions. Now, there was only music left with which to find consolation.

It was late but he was not entirely surprised to hear that there was someone who had stayed behind and practice. He followed the sound of Beethoven in the distance and wondered where it would lead.

Beethoven's _Pathetique_… _Adagio cantabile_ played wistfully and somewhat mournfully. He peered into room and there she was… the dark hair bobbing in tempo with the piece… momentarily transported to a happier place and entranced by the modulating rhythms of the music. It was surprisingly correct and yet still captured the mood of the player.

Not wanting to interrupt and yet desirous of meeting this fascinating creature, he quietly pushed open the large steel door and walked softly toward the second piano. The pied piper continued calling.

Was she recalling childhood memories or dreaming of love? Her fingers fell onto the keys and seemed to tell stories that he had no part of. He watched, waited and remembered. The first time he played this piece in Europe… it was too long ago… his wife and three year old son in the front row smiling their encouragement and clapping enthusiastically when he'd finished. Back then, he thought he was the luckiest man in the world. Now, he was all alone in Paris sitting in a practice room with two pianos and a pianist who was lost in her musically induced dream state. The tears welled up and fell like raindrops on parched land.

But the music had to come to an end. _Who was she playing for? I wonder._

"Are you alright, monsieur?" She was facing him now, looking anxious. The years seem to fall off her as she came back down to earth and out of her hypnotic trance.

"Don't mind me. I'm fine. That piece brings back wonderful memories."

"Really? It holds good memories for me too."

"What kind of memories?"

"You could say that it brought my former boyfriend and I together."

"Former boyfriend?"

"We are no longer together." She muttered haltingly and looked away momentarily.

"I'm sorry to hear that." _Did you play that to remember?_ He saw the sadness in her eyes and felt great empathy for her. He promptly changed the subject.

"Let's not speak of such depressing things. You're Japanese, aren't you? So am I."

"Really, uncle!" She clasped her hand together in delight. "It's marvellous to be able to meet another Japanese person in this place." She quickly lapsed into her native tongue.

"I saw you play today… your interpretation of Chopin was enthralling."

"Was it? I made such a muck of the first piece. I think I was lucky to get third place."

"There's nothing lucky about the way you play, Noda Megumi."

"Please… call me, Nodame. Everyone does. Do you like classical music, uncle?"

"Oh yes, very much."

"Would you like me to play something for you?"

"I would like that very much. What about the Revolutionary Etude? I have never heard anyone play it the way you played it in the semi-finals."

"If you want me to… I will."

_Nodame… Nodame…_ Did he know her from some where? The nagging feeling remained with him. She was innocence, mischief and sincerity all rolled into one. This was a creature who understood what it meant to embrace music with arms wide open and it was reflected in every note she played. She was not afraid to bare her soul and demanded that her listener to do the same. For her, it was all about the moment…

He closed his eyes and allowed the moment to take him back. For the first time in a very long, he didn't feel quite so alone.

* * *

When she had finished, she turned to look at him, scrutinizing him closely. 

"Gyabo! I thought you looked familiar. You were one of the judges." Nodame exclaimed.

"Guilty…" He responded, looking faintly embarrassed.

"Why didn't you say so?"

"There was no need. We were getting on so nicely. Nodame… I've just had an idea. I'm giving some concerts at the Conservatoire while I'm in Paris. I would like you to do a duet with me."

"Uncle's a pianist too?"

He nodded. "So are you interested in my offer?"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Do you have any ideas what you'd like to do?"

"You… are asking me?"

"Yes, I'm asking you." He smiled.

"You're a brave man."

"It would be my pleasure."

"It would be my honour, uncle! But I can't believe you would want me to..."

"Who's your teacher here?"

"Monsieur Auclair."

"That's convenient. He's an old friend of mine. He was my teacher too, for a short time. I'll make sure it's alright with him."

"Uncle," She started hesitantly. "If I'm going to make music with you, I'd like to know your name…"

"I haven't introduced myself properly, have I? How remiss of me… I'm Chiaki… Chiaki Masayuki. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nodame wondered why senpai had never mentioned her to his father. Throughout their conversation, Chiaki Masayuki gave no indication he knew about her or had even heard of her. Weren't father and son on speaking terms? Or was it just that he was… embarrassed... to even talk about her? But then senpai never talked much about his father… just the occasional disparaging remark about his absence and inability to handle responsibility. Whatever the reason, she thought it best to show some discretion about saying anything about her past relationship with senpai.

"You know my son?" He had quizzed when she unthinkingly remarked about the family connection.

"He was my senior at Momogaoka College of Music."

"Really? You were at Momogaoka?"

"Sure… for 3 years." She had remarked and then volunteered no further information. By then she had marshaled her thoughts together and became more wary.

Nodame was prepared to say very little and was secretly grateful that Chiaki sensei did not probe further.

"Sensei, are you sure that you still want me to play with you next week?" She asked changing the subject dexterously.

"Absolutely. But I liked it better when you called me "uncle"."

"Uncle, aren't you afraid that I might cause a catastrophe. I have something of a history with that kind of thing."

"I have complete confidence in you. Come on, choose something."

She deliberated for a while, going through a mental list of things she'd done in the past two years. Chiaki sensei was faintly amused at the scrounged up lips and wondered what was churning through that head.

"What about the Mozart's Piano Sonata in D Major for Two Pianos? I know that one." _Well, sort of._

"Well, that's a blast from the past. Why not? But it's been a while. I'll need to practice obviously."

"Of course." She said matter-of-factly. "We can meet here every night."

"We could have a bite to eat before each practice session. My treat."

"Wow, really? You are too good, uncle." That endearing child-like quality had resurfaced.

"Consider it a down payment for all the hard work that you're going to do."

"You can count on me, uncle. Most definitely." She promised solemnly and gave a forceful salute.

"I know I can. Alright then, it's late. Why don't I walk you home? You can tell me more about yourself."

Nodame nodded and scrambled for her things. She looked around and peered quickly into her bag to make sure she had everything with her. She threw on her coat and signaled to her companion that she was ready to leave.

_That girl has a rare quality about her… there's no pretense, no guile and it translates into her playing. Wonderful…. Just like a child._

* * *

Chiaki Shinichi couldn't understand why after five years of pretending that he didn't exist, his father suddenly wanted to have a relationship with him. He was enjoying a lazy evening on the couch, with only Beethoven's fifth symphony as his companion for the night. For a man who yearned for solitude, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to lie low but two things nagged persistently in his thoughts. 

Undoubtedly, he was tired but quietly satisfied with the latest round of rehearsals. The Roux-Marlet orchestra had come a long way since he "took over" as permanent conductor more than a year ago. They now had a good core group and with the orchestra now making waves in Paris once again, things were looking good for the future of the orchestra and for him.

However, meeting with his father after such a long absence had put a damper on his spirits. Before that, he was reveling in being back in Europe as his conducting career was finally taking off and he was now living out his dream. But seeing that man again… reminded him of how fleeting relationships seemed to be for him, his own father the prime example. Chiaki hated to think that with all his successes, he was a failure at the things that mattered most in life. The women he had dated… one after another found his perfectionist streak impossible to live with after a while. Nodame, on the other hand… was immune to it and even thrived under it.

He couldn't help thinking about her. In all his short years, he had never met anyone quite like her and he had no doubt that there was no one else quite like her in the universe.

That rambunctious, perplexing Nodame had invaded his life… once she had taken over there was no stopping her. Why he had allowed her to come into his world and take over to begin with was equally incomprehensible. Her nonsensical utterances… poor housekeeping.. unsavory hygiene habits. And yet this unworldly creature with all her lack of sophistication had brought some meaning back to his life. Her exuberance for music was infectious and the impact of the woman and her music could not be denied. But she was definitely different. A complete opposite to the elegant and poised Saiko that came before her. No one was more surprised than he, when he realized that his life would be incomplete without her.

Was it love? He couldn't say for certain. Nodame and love in the same breath was like a cosmic joke of the highest order but then the bonds that held them together were… complicated.

Still, he with his orchestra and she with her piano… they drifted away from one another. No, the reality was that he drifted away from her. He had allowed himself to. He wanted to. He had wanted some room to breathe but now that he had it, he found himself pining for her quirks: the way she bounced up to him shouting "Senpai!", her shrilly, girlish laugh and her exaggerated way of talking. Even the often embarrassing comments of them being a married couple. Married indeed! She wasn't exactly his idea of an ideal wife to begin with much less the wife of a world famous conductor.

A world famous conductor. That had been his dream as long as he could remember. He had been on the verge of giving it up but that _hentai_ came along… and the rest was history. At last, his dream was becoming a reality but… was it enough? He didn't know. All he wanted right now, was to be left alone to get on with his career _sans_ the _hentai _girlfriend and definitely _sans_ the father.

His doorbell rang. Who could it be at this late hour? _Not Nodame, surely? _He both feared and longed for it.

Chiaki was surprised to see Kuroki at the door. He thought he had gone home already.

"Chiaki, sorry to disturb you. But I noticed that your light was still on and chanced it. You left your mobile phone in the dressing room so I thought I'd drop it off on my way home."

_Strange, he hadn't noticed it. _

"Well, I was probably too preoccupied with enjoying a quiet evening to myself to have noticed. But thank you, it's good of you."

"No trouble at all, it was on the way home. " Kuroki turned to leave.

"Kuroki…" Chiaki hesitated.

"Yes?"

"How is Nodame doing?"

"Megumi-chan?" Kuroki was obviously surprised by the question. "She's well, at least she was, the last time I saw her. A bit thinner perhaps. Of course, no one sees much of her lately. She's always at school practising till late. You know, of course, that she came in third at the annual piano competition at the Conservatoire."

Actually he didn't know. He had missed it due to some orchestral engagement. Wining or dining some wealthy patron or other.

"Her Mozart was fairly ordinary but her Chopin was… was…" Kuroki mused. "Like being witness to a furious storm in the middle of an ocean and I was trembling under the fury of the squall sweeping past me. She was… amazing."

_I'm sure she was. I wish I had been there to see it. _

"Don't you speak with her at all?" Kuroki asked curiously.

"Not much. Life's busy, that sort of thing." Chiaki said evasively. "So everything's alright with her then?" He continued casually.

"I'm sorry to hear that you haven't kept in touch. But I did hear Tanya say that she's spending a lot of time with an older man… whatever that means."

"An older man?"

"I have no idea beyond that. And you know what Tanya's like. She probably has no idea what's really happening."

"You don't have to spare my feelings. Besides we're not together any more. Please, don't let me keep you." _What older man? What has she got herself into this time?  
_

"Well good night then, Chiaki."

"Good night."

As he closed the door after Kuroki, Chiaki felt a wave of loneliness wash over him. He had forgotten how much he loved hearing Nodame on the piano. Kuroki, on the other hand, couldn't help wondering what happened to those two who not that long ago seemed inseparable for life.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

He was cutting it fine… But the truth was he had not wanted to go in the first place. Someone had sent him a ticket in the mail and his first thought had been to toss it into the waste paper basket. Still… there was the curiosity factor and it just so happened that he had a spare couple of hours that afternoon. He hadn't heard his father play for several years now and wondered what he sounded like these days. _He doesn't have to know that I came._ He was surprised, however, that his father had remained in Paris for an extended period of time. _Wonder where he's staying?_ Of course, he had been far too focused on venting years of suppressed anger to even bother asking and had been only too glad to see the back of his father the last time they met.

Chiaki Shinichi apologized profusely as he scurried toward his seat. Almost everyone in the audience had already found their seats and the place had an air of anticipation. He lowered his head and hoped that he wouldn't bump into anyone he knew. The crowd, he expected, would comprise mainly of staff and students although Chiaki Masayuki still had an extensive European reputation and would draw considerable interest from outside the conservatory. The conservatory was continuing the long-standing tradition of free concerts to the public in the original building.

Shinichi was surprised to see two pianos on stage and wondered who else was playing. He had forgotten to grab a programme on the way in and looked over the shoulder of the lady next to him as discreetly as he could. From his vantage point he observed that the first selection would be Mozart's Piano Sonata for Two Pianos. _A piano duo to start the ball rolling… that's interesting… and that one too. Wonder what poor unsuspecting soul did Dad rope in for this._

The auditorium dimmed slightly. First on stage was the Master of Ceremonies, a plump little man who called himself Auclair. _Was this Nodame's instructor?_ He introduced Chiaki senior as an old friend and a former student and was privileged to have him play at the conservatory at such short notice. The audience applauded and Shinichi saw his father enter the stage and embrace Auclair. Chiaki Masayuki took his place on the right hand piano. Auclair continued his preamble by introducing Chiaki Masayuki's fellow performer for the first selection… the annual conservatory piano competition's third place winner…

_Nodame?_ Shinichi was stunned beyond belief. It was as if someone had knocked the wind out of him. _Nodame and Dad?… Playing together?_ Questions were racing through his head at a hundred miles an hour. _How… since when…_ But there she was… appearing to an enthusiastic burst of applause. She showed her characteristic bounce and she came on stage and strode across to her playing partner.

Chiaki senior, leaned over and whispered. "I'm envious of you, Nodame. You have more fans than I." He joked.

"No way, uncle!" She exclaimed, almost horrified.

"Listen to them. I'm sure they really came because of you."

"I don't think so. You're the world famous pianist… remember?"

"Next to you, I'm not so sure." He grinned.

Shinichi was flabbergasted as he witnessed his father's amicable exchange with Nodame, the ramifications of which were not lost on him. This was a side of his father he hadn't seen for a very long time: smiling mischievously and behaving in a friendly fashion. A horrifying thought then struck him: _Is Dad Nodame's older man?_

The two performers took their places and with a nod of the head from Chiaki senior, they began tackling the interconnecting melodies and concurring rhythmic flow of Mozart's only formal composition for two pianos. _Allegro con spirito_. It was a performance with spirit indeed. Both pianists were feeding off one another's energies in a beautifully synchronized tempo. Nodame's playing had obviously matured to a higher degree, producing richer sounds which reverberated joyously through the auditorium. She had come a very long way since that first day in Tanioka sensei's class. Soon the piece faded into the background as his thoughts flew to the times they spent playing together. Rachmaninov, Elgar's Violin Sonata and of course, Mozart's Sonata in D Major. He had been so depressed then and on the verge of throwing away his long-cherished ambitions. The turning point came from playing the sonata with her... poignantly reminding him what playing music was all about -- a performance that moved the heart and captured the imagination of the listener. Being here and being the outsider, the observer... it was a nostalgic moment mingled with sadness. He didn't realise how much he missed watching the way her fingers flitted effortlessly across the keys… or how she would purse her lips while taking liberties with the score. He also missed her musical imageries which were both comic and profound. Most of all he missed her… and this piece brought it all back again in one fell swoop.

A thunderous applause cut off his pensive ruminations. The two performers had finished and were taking their bows.

"I hope I didn't make too many mistakes, uncle." Nodame whispered anxiously.

"Even if you did… Look at them… does it look like they care?"

"I had a lot fun doing that, uncle."

"So did I, Nodame… so did I." Chiaki Masayuki smiled. _That girl is a true performer. Still only student and she already has a following. All this even before she's come close to fulfilling her potential. _"But now, it's my turn to charm the audience." He gave her a quick smile, took her hand and led her to her seat in the front row.

In spite of himself, Shinichi was curious. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine his father and Nodame crossing paths in this manner. Performing together like this… even his own son had never performed with his father… at least not in public. Still, this was his father as he remembered him as a child in happier times. That Nodame… was weaving her magic once again.

* * *

The concert was a success and the administrators were already pleading Chiaki for a repeat performance. When the queue for autographs dissipated, they could see Shinichi walking towards them. He had been sitting in his seat uncertain of what he should do, still reeling from recent developments. The plan had been to leave after the recital but seeing his father and Nodame... he was now burning with curiosity. 

The decision was made for him when his father spotted him from a distance and gestured for him to come over.

"Nodame, it looks like my son decided to come after all. Why don't you let me introduce you?"

Nodame turned pale and panicked. "Uncle, I just remembered that I have to be somewhere. Please accept my apologies." _I am sure senpai doesn't want to see me.  
_

"But we're still doing dinner, right?"

"Yes, of course."

Nodame bowed hastily and scurried off as quickly as her legs could carry her.

_That girl… wonder where she's off too. Hope she's alright. She didn't look too good.  
_

"Ah, Shinichi. You made it."

"She's a bit young, even for you, Dad." Shinichi remarked sarcastically. _Where did she disappear too?_

"Ever ready with the biting comments, aren't you?" His father responded surprisingly calmly. "Unfortunately… no… it's not what you think. I do like her and if I were twenty years younger it might have been a different story. But twenty years ago, I was a fool… I wouldn't have appreciated her finer qualities even if I fell over them." There was a tinge of regret in his voice.

_Even Dad sees it. _Something like relief came over the younger man.

"That girl is a diamond in the rough. Lucky the man who gets to enjoy the fruits." The older man commented then turned around to his son. "So what did you think?"

"It was a good overall performance."

"Not me… _Her_… I should have introduced you two. But she seemed anxious to get away."

_I'll bet._ "She played well." Shinichi said, feigning indifference. _Evidently_ s_he hasn't told him about us._

"She played well? Were you listening? She plays like an avalanche in a blizzard. Although I did manage to get her to tone down this time."

"How did you meet her?" _An avalanche in a blizzard. _Shinichi tried not to laugh. _A rather apt description._

"I was judging at the piano competition last week, she was a finalist and took third place. Her Chopin was…"

_Like a fiery storm in the middle of the ocean. Wasn't that what Kuroki said?_

"Anyway, I saw her again playing in one of the practice rooms later. We got talking and one thing led to the next." He paused for a moment. "Look, I have an idea… if you haven't got any plans tonight, why don't you join us for dinner? You can meet her then." He suggested enthusiastically. "You'll really like her. Did you know that she's an alumna of Momogaoka, a year behind you?"

Shinichi was torn. On the one hand, he was eager to see Nodame again, on the other hand, it could be a disaster in the making. In the end reason overruled emotion.

"I'm busy… another time maybe…" He blurted out rather more brusquely than he intended.

"Are you sure?"

"There are a few last minute details I need to attend to for this weekend's performances."

"The Roux-Marlet's playing this weekend?"

"Yes."

"Would you mind if I came to watch?"

"Suit yourself."

"I'll see if Nodame would like to go along." The father remarked and then quietly added, "Shinichi… thank you."

"Huh?"

"Thank you for coming. It really meant a lot to me."

The son nodded and turned away before his emotions betrayed him. For the first time in his life, he wished he could change places with his father.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Practice room number 221 had become a place of solace for her. During these past six months, it served as her means of escape. As her fingers flew across the keys, she was grateful that the piano was an immutable source of comfort, her rock during the storm. Unlike the fickle nature of the human heart. … The shattered pieces of her broken heart were lying around in plain sight and in quiet moments, when she was most honest with herself she knew that her latest project was nothing more than a way to cover up how broken she felt inside. Pushing herself to inhuman limits to escape the agony of lost love was wearing her down… Finally, after months of straining herself, she had to admit she had reached the end of herself.

_I must go on... I must succeed  
_

Nodame broke down into a sob. Six months of stored up tears now fell freely. Catching a glimpse of _senpai_ after successfully avoiding him for the past months had been a shock to the system. What a deluded fool she had been for thinking that she could have avoided him forever especially in the kind of circles that they both travelled. While being with his father helped hide the pain, it also deflected the reality that he was no longer part of her life.

A life without senpai, was unthinkable but the unthinkable had occurred. It had been her greatest dream to grow old with him but that dream had been shattered into seemingly irretrievable pieces.

* * *

Acknowledging the applause of the audience, the conductor of the Roux-Marlet orchestra took his bow. As he readied himself for the evening's perfomance, Shinichi stole a quick glance at the audience and noted the empty seat next to his father. _She's not coming?_ His heart sank. 

He turned away immediately to hide his disappointment. Around six months ago, she stopped coming… first the rehearsals and then actual performances. Early on, he had been so driven to make the orchestra a success and did not see this as a cause for alarm. When he did finally notice her continued absence, she had been gone a long time. The phone calls had stopped, no emails, not even visits at odd hours of the night begging for food. His first thought was that she was burying herself in her studies and taking him for granted. _Why do I always have to be the one to call?_ So he stopped calling in the hope of provoking a reaction. But there was no reaction… she simply dropped out of his life.

She was a strange one… everyone knew that… he knew that better than most. Still this was beyond mere Nodame eccentricity and so out of character even for her. She had been so steadfast in her affections until now.

His pride made him soldier on… he had tried his best to make the relationship work, and if she wanted to end things in this way, so be it. He had better things to do than to be at the beck and call of this _hentai_.

* * *

During the 20 minute intermission, his father came backstage to talk to him. 

"Shinichi… I'm a little worried about Nodame. She was supposed to meet me here but didn't arrive at all. She's not answering her mobile phone so I think I'll look in on her."

"Sure…" Shinichi, too, was beginning to feel anxious.

"I hope she's had dinner… that girl doesn't eat enough and she's constantly at the piano. I've had to force feed her on more than one occasion." Chiaki senior commented off- hand.

_Nodame… not... eating enough? Are we talking about the same person? _

"I should go now. I'm sorry to rush off like this but I'm glad I came." said the father.

The son nodded and watched his father walk briskly into the night. _It should be me, I should be looking for her. I should have… six months ago…_

* * *

"Ah, there you are… I've been looking everywhere for you. Did you forget our appointment to attend the Roux-Marlet performance this evening?" 

Nodame did not respond. She was staring down at the piano pedals, deliberately avoiding his gaze. Silence reigned for some moments in that room.

"Nodame, are you alright?" Chiaki senior demanded, growing increasingly worried.

She nodded numbly, blinded by her tears.

"Have you been crying?" He turned her around to face him. "Why, what happened?" _She looks completely exhausted. She must've been pulling another all nighter._

She shook her head. _I can't tell him._

Chiaki turned to look at the open score and picked it up. Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 3.

"Nodame, are you teaching yourself the Rach 3? Is that what you've been doing these past few days?" He gasped.

_The past few months actually._

Chiaki senior gave a low whistle. "You're a braver person than I've given you credit for. No wonder you're crying. The Rach 3 would make even a grown man cry. Does Auclair know what you're doing?"

Again she shook her head. _It was supposed to be a secret. Something I did during my spare time._

"How much headway have you made?"

"The entire first movement." She muttered. "And most of the second."

"Can you play it… for me?" He was looking at her in amazement

"I'm not ready yet." She protested feebly.

"Just the first movement… or however much you want to play." He pleaded. "Please."

Perhaps it was the way he said "please" or perhaps it was that the loneliness was beginning to bite. Whatever it was, she turned round and looked at him, her eyes boring into his. She nodded then closed her eyes as if in silent meditation and gracefully placed her fingers on the keys. _Allegro ma non tante_

As Nodame launched into the quiet diatonic preamble, Chiaki Masayuki felt compelled to shut his eyes and transport himself into her world. All at once, through the lure of each note he followed her on her journey. It began subdued, and uncharacteristically understated. He surmised that she had been a quiet, musically precocious child perhaps, eager but untutored. Here was a child who loved music but hated the rigors of instruction.

_I have totally underestimated her… her hidden depths. She may act and talk like a child but she plays like a woman… in torment. But it isn't the Rach 3 that's haunting her… On the contrary, the Rach 3 is her refuge, her release. Where is this outpouring of melancholy coming from?_

One climax after the next, the full force of her anguish could be felt. Hers was a Rachmaninov in despair seeking to find hope at the end of a very long tunnel. Was it a tunnel of her own making? Or she searching for something or someone…

* * *

When Shinichi returned to his apartment, he found a message waiting for him on his answering machine. 

"Shinichi, it's Dad here. I found Nodame at the Conservatoire. That girls is more of a workhorse than I ever was. Apparently she lost track of the time Also, I forgot to mention earlier that I'm leaving for Prague tomorrow on the early flight. But I'll be back in Paris soon, next month perhaps, time permitting. Congratulations on a dynamic, well-executed performance."

Turning it off, he marveled at how much had happened over such a short period of time. Although things were not yet well between himself and his father, they had managed to overcome the initial awkwardness, thanks in no small part to Nodame. It was as Strezeman had said to him some time ago… _Nodame brings out the best in you._

Standing on the balcony and feeling the cool air of the night, he wondered when his father was leaving for Prague the next day.

* * *

"You needn't have come." 

"I know… but I'm going to miss you, uncle."

"Remember… you can always email me and I'll be back again very soon."

"I will."

"I have something for you, Nodame." He dug into the front pocket of his satchel, pulled out a brown packet and handed it to her.

"A present? For me?" Nodame's interest was piqued.

"Open it…"

Ripping off the brown packaging, Nodame pulled out a CD… It contained among other things, twentieth century virtuoso, Vladimir Horowitz' rendition of the Rach 3 with the RCA Victor Symphony Orchestra.

"Wow…"

"I found this in the record store here. Many critics and musicologists consider Horowitz's version of the Rach 3 to be the best. Let him be your inspiration, Nodame."

"Thank you, uncle… You've been so kind… I will definitely treasure this." Nodame flung her arms around him impulsively and gave him grateful smile.

"Now go and don't be late for class. The last thing I want is for Auclair to breathe down my neck for holding you up." He grinned. _Her spontaneity… one of her most endearing qualities but there is still that shadow hanging over her. I just wish she would tell me what's going on. Late nights alone at the conservatoire banging out the Rach 3. Can't be good._

"I won't." Nodame promised, waving as she walked out of the visitors lounge. She had planned to catch a train back into the city and headed for the station entrance.

"Nodame!" A familiar voice called out in the midst of a sea of faces.

_Senpai?_ Nodame quickened her pace. _I can't see him now._

He somehow managed to catch up to her for she felt a slight tap on her shoulders. There was no avoiding him now.

"Nodame, didn't you hear me?" He was sounding breathless.

"_Senpai_, what are you doing here?" She was determined to avoid eye contact.

"Same reason you are… to see my father off."

"You're late. He's boarding now."

"Oh," An awkward silence sprung up between them.

Nodame wasn't waiting to find out what was on his mind and made some movement to go.

"It's been good seeing you, _senpai_, but I have to go… or I'm going to be late for class."

"Can I offer you a lift into the city?"

"It's okay… I don't want to be any trouble. I'll take the train." Nodame proceeded to walk away.

Shinichi took the bull by the horns and continued following her. "It's no trouble, really." He insisted and placed himself promptly in her way. He placed his hands on her shoulders and searched her eyes. "I want to…"

"Aren't you embarrassed to be seen with me?" Her words came like a silent arrow in the darkness and pierced him. In stunned silence, he released his hold on her. "Isn't that why you haven't told your father about us?" She was in an oddly petulant state of mind. Nodame was almost never petulant… He failed to recognize this sullen creature that was lambasting him.

"Why didn't you tell him yourself?" was all he could muster defensively.

"You know why… I'm trying to save you from embarrassment. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." With that, she stormed off trying desperately to hold back the tears.

Shinichi felt like he'd been stripped bare and beaten black and blue all over. He staggered over to the elevator, completely stupefied.

_What the heck just happened here?_

This was not the Nodame he had grown to care for. She was angry with him… that was clear… But the reason escaped him.

Still that didn't matter… he could have stopped her and tried to find out why… But her words had stung too much... _Aren't you embarrassed to be seen with me?_

_Idiot._ He scolded himself. _Why didn't you just tell her how you really feel?_

Some distance, the entire exchange was witnessed by his father. Nodame had left her precious Puri-Gorota Kazuo hand puppet in his case as a present and he went looking for her to thank her. While he was unable to hear what was said, it was clear that those two knew each other better than they had let on.

_So that's what's being going on._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Her last words to him were still ringing in his ears… _Aren't you embarrassed to be seen with me? _Her eyes, when she said it looked hollow and sorrowful.

Was there some element of truth in it? After some soul searching, he had to admit that her eccentricities tested him. He wondered quite often what made him attracted to her. She wasn't his usual type. Far from it. And yet… there they were.. together… in a relationship… _Were_ in a relationship… Past tense. An odd combination of personalities coming together through their mutual love of music. _Was that all it was?_

_Clearly, she's angry with me. Has she been angry with me all this time? Something I supposedly did six months ago?_

But it was more than that… she didn't look well. Her cheeks contained an unhealthy pallor and she looked like she had been suffering great stress.

_What has she been doing to herself?_

Chiaki Shinichi slammed his fist on the dressing room table. He had tried, hadn't he? Nonetheless, he couldn't feel persuaded to believe that he was blameless for his part in all this. Whichever way he looked at it, he was culpable to some degree. He left her alone for six months and now she looked like a ghost of her former self.

* * *

Kuroki's mobile phone sounded Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 and he scrambled for it in his backpack while apologizing profusely for interrupting the rehearsal. He ran off into dressing room to answer it, muttering something about usually remembering to switch it off. 

He came back looking grave and uncharacteristically worried.

"Chiaki, I'm sorry I have to leave right now. Tanya is in a state. Megumi-chan, she…"

"Nodame? What's happened?" A nagging feeling that had been growing since their last encounter was beginning to take shape.

"She's been rushed to the hospital."

"What?! Why?" Chiaki exclaimed horrified.

"I'm not sure of the details but I should go… Tanya is waiting there for me."

"I'll come with you."

"Are you sure? You have a rehearsal to finish."

"Karl can do it. We've been through the selections several times… everyone has a fair idea what's expected." He grabbed his overcoat and jostled his pockets for his keys. "Come on, we can take my car."

After leaving instructions with the concertmaster, the two men rushed to the car, got in and took off. The ten minutes it took them to get to the hospital felt like hours.

* * *

To say that Tanya was in a state was an understatement. She was an utter wreck. It was she who found Nodame lying next her piano looking white as sheet. When she couldn't wake Nodame, she yelled for help bringing Frank and the landlady to the room. 

Nodame was delirious, her body temperature at 39 degrees. The doctor explained that through lack of sleep and proper nutrition, her body was starved for nutrients.

_Nodame, what did you do to yourself?_

"Can we see her?" Shinichi asked anxiously.

"Family only, I'm afraid."

"Her immediate family are all in Japan but I'm her…" He was at a loss for words. _What am I to her?_ It brought home to him that the terms of their relationship had changed so drastically over the past months.

"Fiancé." Kuroki finished his sentence for him in his usual unflappable manner.

_Huh? Kuroki… you didn't need to…_

"He's her fiancé… " Kuroki repeated the point in case the doctor missed it. "Please let him see her. I think she would want that."

It was a boldfaced lie if ever he heard one but the attending physician seemed satisfied. Kuroki's was a face that inspired trust.

"Only you though." He gestured for Shinichi to follow him.

"Kuroki…" He turned to him with a grateful look.

"Just go to her now… We'll be here waiting." Kuroki's eyes were filled with compassion.

Shinichi nodded and walked away. He wondered about the state that he would find her in.

* * *

Her delirium seemed acute. It broke him to see her in so much anguish… anguish that he was somehow responsible for.

"Piano… piano… I need a piano…" She was babbling repeatedly… tossing and turning.

_Nodame!_

"I can't stop now, can't stop now."

_Nodame, what's happening to you?_

"Getting closer, getting closer."

_What's getting closer?_

"Can you do something for her?" Shinichi asked the attending physician.

"We're trying to bring down her temperature. Once it breaks, she should be out of danger."

"Senpai… senpai…" She was muttering.

"I'm here, Nodame." He took the seat beside her. But she seemed not to notice his presence.

"Senpai… am I such a burden to you?"

_Did I ever say that? _He wondered, rather taken aback and pondered over the many times he felt frustrated with her idiosyncrasies. _But a burden?_

"When I finish, you won't be embarrassed to be seen with me anymore. I will make you proud."

_What is she talking about? What is she going to finish?_

She gave an eerie smile and fell silent. It was if she had undergone a tremendous battle and come to the end of it. Whether she had won it, was anybody's guess.

He took her hand, holding it up to his face and felt his own tears trickle down his cheeks.

"You must get better, Nodame… you must…" He whispered to the darkness and the capricious creature beside him that had now fallen into a deep sleep.

* * *

"She's most exasperating person I've ever met. She's loud, noisy and disorganized. She does the most embarrassing things in public. " 

"But you're still with her, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment." was the sarcastic rejoinder.

* * *

She is listening… perhaps she shouldn't be… 

But the door is open

Words are said..

Misheard… misread…

_He thinks I'm embarrassing? It is distasteful to him to be with me?_

In a tearful stupor she walks away not caring to hear much more.

She wanders for hours through streets and alleyways

In a daze

_He drifts away from me_

_All across life's sea_

_When I get close_

_All I hold dear just flows_

_Away…_

* * *

"She's most exasperating person I've ever met. She's loud, noisy and disorganized. She does the most embarrassing things in public. " 

"But you're still with her, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment." was the sarcastic rejoinder.

"But why?"

"I've asked myself that question many times… there is something special about her, no doubt and when she's on the piano, she's a force of nature."

"But it isn't just that…"

"No…"

"Perhaps… it is because she brings out the best in you… You are a better man because of her. She brings out all your protective instincts and widens your horizons."

"Maestro!"

"And she has this incredible gift to find the joy of music at its core."

"How…"

"Don't underestimate this old man, young man. I am a conductor, too, remember, it is my job to know the people around me and bring out the best in them."

* * *

_Milch! Senpai! Are you here?_

Nodame woke up with a start. She'd been dreaming, seeing familiar people and faces but that memory of Chiaki senpai and Stresemann talking in the dressing room had haunted her for so long.

She looked at her unfamiliar surroundings trying to orientate herself. _Where is this place?_

It was then she saw his slender frame… lying in the darkness of the room.

_Why is Chiaki Senpai asleep here? _She was still groggy. _This isn't my room._

She tried to get up and then found her body too weak to do so.

"Welcome back, miss." said a friendly voice, speaking in low tones.

"Where am I?" She mumbled weakly

"In the hospital. You took ill with a very high fever… your friends are really worried about you. Your fiancé was particularly worried… he spent the last 2 days keeping vigil at your bedside."

_My fiancé? I must really be sick, I'm now hearing things._

"My fiancé?"

"The poor man… that chair can't be too comfortable but I don't think we could pry him away from it even if we tried." The elderly nurse grinning, gave her a knowing look. "The things people do for love."

_Love? Is that why he's here?_

Nodame's heart skipped a beat. For the first time in a long time, she felt something like hope. He was here… and that was enough for her.

"Your temperature has returned to normal but you're not ready to go jogging just yet. So please take it easy."

Her body had taken quite a beating and she felt it acutely. Two days… the nurse had said… she hoped Monsieur Auclair wouldn't be too angry with her. Exams were only two weeks away.

She sighed and turned to look once more at senpai before drifting back off to sleep.

* * *

She seemed to him so peaceful now. The last two nights, watching her babbling incoherently and tossing unnerved him greatly. 

_She's going to be fine… I'm so glad. That idiot… honestly… gave us such a fright._

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her lightly over the forehead. He had a sudden craving for a cigarette and thought he should head out to the lawn. It would do him some good to stretch his legs and get a bit of fresh air and sunshine.

* * *

Nodame opened her eyes. She searched the room and remembered where she was. _Hospital_. _It's daylight now._ Senpai, on the other hand, was noticeably missing. _Has he gone back to work, I wonder? Gyabo, he left his coat behind._

She picked it up and put it on. His familiar scent still lingered on it. _I need to go back to work too._

_Now, where can I find a piano in this place?_

* * *

He returned to the ward to discover that Nodame had gone missing with his overcoat. 

"Nurse, where is the young lady that was in Room 201 Bed 2? She was just here an hour ago. She hasn't been discharged, surely?"

"No… no… I don't think so… let me check…" She punched the records on her computer. "No, she should still be here. I'll call…"

Before she could continue, a younger nurse burst into the reception area, breathless.

"Veronique… come quick! You won't believe what's happening. One of the patients… an Asian… girl… is in the recreation room playing some classical piece. It's so good."

It couldn't be mere coincidence. He had to ask.

"Excuse me, nurse, does she have short brown hair and is wearing a black overcoat?"

"Yeah, you know her?"

"Yeah, I know her." _That idiot, honestly… I take my eyes off her for a few minutes… _"Where is the recreation room?" He inquired.

"Two floors down… I'll take you there." The nurse called Veronique had twinkle in her eye and gave him a knowing smile before he took off.

He walked as quickly as his legs could carry him – from the ward to the elevator and then to the recreation room. All he had to do really, was follow the music.

It was an all too familiar piece… brought back memories of his father as a younger man fervently doing battle on the piano.

"When are you going to play with me, Dad?"

"Dad can't play with you now… I have to practice."

_Dad never had time for me… or mum…_

But Nodame was in full force… and drawing quite the crowd. Some of her audience recognized the piece and gazed in wonder. She, however, was quite oblivious to all the attention.

_The Rach 3?… She's been killing herself over the Rach 3?_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Nodame… playing the Rach 3? Since when did she...  
_

Shinchi stood there some moments agape… in a trance… _It is amazing. Astounding. The raw energy… the unworldly dynamism, it's so hard to believe that just a day ago, she was incapacitated, feverish and delirious. But here she is… alive and capturing the Rach 3's complexities with her usual uncanny finger work._

_I have really missed listening to her play…._

"That young lady is in a class all by herself. If only she realizes it." commented a familiar voice next to him. "Still, maybe it is better that she never does or that joyous vein in her playing would be lost to us."

Shinichi had been so engrossed that he hadn't noticed that someone had been standing next to him for some time. He turned around to look at his companion.

"Dad?" He exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Prague."

"I was. But I came to see how my favourite daughter-in-law was doing."

_Favourite daughter-in-law? Really. I suppose he must have found out somehow.  
_

"We're not married." Shinichi made a show of being indignant._ We're not even engaged._

"Really? That's not what your mother said."

"Mum? You spoke to Mum? Since when?"

"Since last week. She's been worried about you two."

"Mum doesn't know what's going on and neither do you."

"Why didn't you tell me? About the two of you."

"Why are you suddenly interested in playing "happy families" now? He responded heatedly as he was wont to do with his father. "I really don't need to justify my decisions to you or for you to tell me how to live my life." His father's recent attempts to delve into his private life was unsettling him.

"No, evidently not, because you're doing such a great job on your own." was the unperturbed rejoinder.

Immediately, Shinichi thought about the past weeks and saw the truth in the irony of his father's words. He was right… there was no denying it… his private life was not exactly a bed of roses but he wasn't in any frame of mind to confess anything to his father. For a while, there was an uneasy silence between father and son as both turned to the young pianist who was now wrestling with the technical demands of the third movement. Her capacity to draw the listener in was in no way diminished by her weakened state. Although engrossed in Nodame's tireless display, Shinichi heard his father say, again without malice,

"Chiaki Shinichi, you are one of the most gifted, capable individuals in this world. But unfortunately for you, you are still my son. And if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to prevent you from making my mistakes."

_The last thing you do? Your mistakes…  
What's Dad talking about?_

Lost in his own thoughts for some moments, Shinichi was slow to realize that Nodame had finished and was asleep at the piano. He was pulled out of his reverie by a loud burst of applause from those watching. The object of their approbation, however, was oblivious and had fallen into slumber out of sheer exhaustion.

Both father and son ran to her side.

"Miss… you can't sleep here." One of the attending nurses was trying to wake her.

"Nurse, we'll take her back to her room." Chiaki senior took charge immediately.

"Who are you?"

"I'm her father-in-law. This is my son."

"You've got quite the pianist there." The nurse remarked, obviously impressed.

"You have no idea."

"Nodame…" Chiaki gently roused her.

At his father's prompting, Shinichi picked her up.

"Uncle?" She stirred slightly, with her eyes half opened.

"You need to rest now."

"Uncle, I did it… I've memorized the whole of the third movement." She muttered sleepily.

"You've done well. Now it's back to bed with you."

"OK… I wonder if senpai will like it." She was gradually drifting off back to sleep. Nodame had the uncanny ability to sleep anywhere and everywhere.

_She memorized it all. Unbelievable! _

_Do I like it?! I loved it! Every time you play… don't you know that by now?_

She looked so peaceful in his arms… like a little lost lamb who had come home at last. His heart experienced a pang or two at the thought of what she'd gone through the past months. When they got to her room, he placed her gently on her bed.

"I'm going outside for a cigarette." His father said. "Just make sure everything's alright with her."

Shinichi nodded sat down beside her and caressed her light brown hair. _You idiot… you never cease to amaze me._

He was surprised at how much his father had taken to Nodame. To fly in, on the spur of the moment, because he heard that she was ill. He didn't understand it… something was different about his father. Older… and wiser… perhaps. He couldn't help feeling a little envious… he had never had any kind of relationship with his father after his parents' divorce. Even after his plane crash… his father was largely absent from his life.

But the fact was, everyone liked Nodame… her child-like simplicity, generosity and determined spirit. The difference between him and everyone else was that he fought it… every step of the way. It took him a much longer time to recognize the inevitable… sooner or later that girl just manages to get under one's skin.

He sat there for a few moments thinking about the last few months… he had wasted so much time. He didn't understand what was going on with his father but he knew he had to find out.

* * *

He found his father out in the lawn, smoking under a tree. Shinichi went over and sat down beside him. 

"How is she?" Chiaki senior asked as he flicked the ash of his cigarette.

"She's asleep."

"Good."

Shinichi didn't have Nodame's gift for conversation and groped around for words.

"Your mother likes her…" His father spoke up suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I like her too." After a brief pause. "What about you, Shinichi… do you love her?"

The question took Shinichi by surprise… It was personal, direct, unexpected and so unlike his father. He thought about not answering it but surprised himself by his own admission.

"I don't know… I care a lot for her though… Sometimes I think I could…" He replied awkwardly.

"Is this why you didn't say anything before… because you aren't sure just how you feel about her?"

"I didn't say anything before because I didn't think that you and I had that kind of a relationship or any kind of relationship for that matter." Shinichi answered heatedly.

"Fair enough…" His father was looking down, rubbing out the cigarette with the sole of his shoe.

"Dad, I didn't mean…" His own vehemence surprised him.

"Of course you did, and you're right about what you said."

Shinichi didn't know what to say. His father was here now after being absent for so long. There was so much he had wanted to say but now that he could, he couldn't. Years of resentment had built a wall between them. A seemingly formidable wall. He had been so angry and yet his father was being so… annoyingly reasonable.

"Dad… why did you come? To Paris…"

"To see you… to make things right if I could."

"Why now?"

"There's no time like the present."

_He said something before about being the last thing he ever did…_

'You're not dying or something, are you?" He demanded.

His father gave a shout of laughter. "No, I'm not dying… yet… Whatever made you think that?"

"Just something you said before…" Shinichi bewildered… still puzzling over this new aspect to his father.

"Shinichi… don't take too long…"

"Too long?"

"To make up your mind. Lest someone else makes it up for you."

With that piece of fatherly advice, Chiaki senior walked off, leaving his son to ruminate over the ramifications of that statement.

* * *

"Uncle… you really didn't need to come…" 

"Of course, I did. I don't have any daughters and you're the closest thing I have to one."

Nodame gave him another one of her impulsive hugs. _My son is a fool. But then, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. _"It's nice to have someone else to worry about, for a change." He added with a lump in his throat.

"I seem to be the source of so much trouble…" She said regretfully

"I must admit that life's much more interesting when you're around." Chiaki senior grinned.

"Uncle, you're making fun of me." She put on a show of being petulant and pouted, then broke into a giggle.

Nodame's demeanor then turned serious. She hesitated a moment before saying:

"Uncle… there is something I want to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Why is it that you and senpai don't get along?"

"It's a long story… but mainly it's because of me… I haven't been the kind of father I should've been."

"Really? I find that hard to believe."

"It's hard for a child to live in the shadow of a famous parent because that fame exacts a very high price. The first thing is that you become a slave to the very thing that made you famous and if you're lucky, you realize it in time. But I didn't. I loved being a pianist… it was my great ambition to reach the heights of my vocation. And I did. However, I had a family and for a while, it was good. But then the family can become a hindrance to that ambition… because family means putting aside one's ambitions even if for a few moments. Soon I resented them being around, taking up my time and they resented me for not being there for them."

"Do you think senpai thinks of me as a burden?" Nodame asked perceptively.

"Nodame, you could never be a burden to anyone. No, I don't think he quite knows what to do with you."

"He doesn't know what to do with me?"

"Everyone thinks that just because Shinichi is an extraordinary musician that he has it all together. In reality, he doesn't. He struggles with everything else just like the rest of us mere mortals. Ultimately, he's just a man bestowed with great gifts… trying to find his own way... trying to know what it is he wants."

"Do you think he will ever know… what to do with me?"

"Only God knows…" _For his sake… I hope he does_. "Just remember, Nodame… that whatever happens between you and Shinichi, it won't affect our friendship."

"Of course not, uncle… definitely not."

* * *

"So I guess you're going back to work, senpai." Nodame looked on as Shinichi gathered his things. 

"Yes, we have performances this weekend and I must really get back to rehearsals." _But if you want me to stay and talk…_

Nodame was more like her old self… chirpy and exuberant. Friendly almost…

"Do you? I will try and be there. No promises, mind you. I've got to work for my exams. I'm behind as it is."

"Of course, I understand." _So we're just going to get back to our lives and forget that none of this happened._

"I like your father." She commented arbitrarily.

"He seems to like you." _Where is she going with this?_

"You know, he's invited me to visit him in Prague during the spring. I'm seriously thinking about going. I've never been to Prague."

"You'll like it there… It has some of the world's most beautiful architecture. For instance, Prague Castle is the largest castle in the world. Also, if you're going in the spring, there's the Prague International Music festival to look forward to." _Why do_ _I sound like a travel log._

"Hmmm… maybe I should." She acknowledged thoughtfully. "Anyway, senpai, I know you're busy so don't let me keep you."

_Is she trying to get rid of me?_

"Yeah, I should go… if you're sure you're alright." He added uncertainly. _I can stay a while longer, if you want me to._

"I'm fine… go…" She replied breezily, waving him towards the door. "Oh, and by the way, thanks for the use of your coat."

"Sure, you're welcome." _That's it? That's all you want to say to me after six months?_

Shinichi wasn't sure what he was expecting but not this. One moment she's berating him, the next she's talking to him in this overtly friendly manner without any of their old intimacy. He felt oddly dissatisfied, thinking that he preferred the angry Nodame to this genial yet indifferent doppelganger.

* * *

He was unusually flustered and it had nothing to do with the evening's performance. He had been the principal conductor for the Roux-Marlet orchestra for over a year now and tonight, for some reason, he was feeling like a giddy schoolboy. 

He had sent her a ticket… her old seat… but characteristically there had been no reply to say if she was coming. But he was hoping still.

When he adjusted his tie for the sixth time, Kuroki came over and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"She'll be here, Chiaki. Don't worry."

_Have I become that obvious? Kuroki knows me too well._

Chiaki nodded and sat down. _There's no use fretting. The show will still have to go on.  
_

* * *

The principal conductor of the Roux-Marlet was greeted by a burst of enthusiastic applause as he walked onto the stage. The atmosphere was electric but tonight his mind was on other things. The applause faded into the background as he searched the third row. His heart leapt as he saw the slouched figure with the light brown hair. There she was sitting, cheering along looking as if she'd never been gone. 

That evening, the orchestra and the audience were moved by some new depth to the music that they had never experienced previously. It was as if the principal conductor of the Roux-Marlet had found another side to himself and his music.

* * *

After the performance, he couldn't get out of his formal attire quickly enough. The accolades and congratulatory comments from his colleagues he brushed aside quickly. He was impatient to find for her among the crowds of people that had gathered outside. But she was no where to be found. Like a phantom, she had come and gone into the night. He could only be consoled by the fact that she had come. 

Still, there was a part of him that feared that things would never be what they once were.

Author's Note:

_The end is nigh... but I'm still deliberating over the ending... Hmmm... Should I do a Pride and Prejudice (2005)? The trials of writing. _


	8. Chapter 8: Final

Chapter 8

Chiaki Shinichi sat up the entire night, unable to sleep. At first he had been so elated to see her but his elation was short-lived. It caused him to wonder why she hadn't stayed to talk or even gone backstage as she was her past habit. The emotional turmoil of not knowing was causing him to pine for the couch next to her hospital bed in spite of the comforts his apartment had to offer. Still, he was probably a fool to think that everything would return to what they were because she came to one performance.

Shinichi gave up on getting any sleep when he realised that his brain was in overdrive and was unlikely to relax any time soon. He got up and went to the kitchen to make himself something to eat. Before he knew it, he was preparing chicken curry at 3 am in the morning. While it kept his mind occupied, he realized to his horror (at half past 4 in the morning) that he had made enough curry for a whole week.

_Great, I managed to cook for the entire Roux-Marlet orchestra_. He muttered to himself sarcastically.

Still, this gave him an idea. It would give him the excuse he needed to look her up.

* * *

The old apartment building brought back memories of happier days when they were practically living together. There were days he despaired over her housekeeping but right now, he would give his right arm just to wade through her litter after a particular intense period of study. It was strange that in spite of being in familiar surroundings, he was a bundle of nerves. 

He knocked a few times but received no response. In the old days, he would have had a key. He stood at her door for some moments before trying Tanya's apartment.

"Chiaki… how are you? Is there anything I can do for you? Nodame isn't here." Tanya was surprised and pleased to see him. She was wearing curlers and a large towel around her head.

"Erm… I've got some curry here for Nodame but she doesn't seem to be home."

"Oh… she's probably with Tomas working on their assignment."

"Of course, could I leave this with you, then?"

"Sure…"

"Please feel free to have some also." He turned to take his leave.

"Chiaki, you haven't been around much for so long… I hope all is well?" She was looking concerned.

"I'm fine…"

"You should come in the evenings, Nodame is usually at home in the evenings although she's been spending a bit of time with Tomas either here or at his place." She offered helpfully.

"I'll keep that in mind." _Who the heck is Tomas?_

* * *

"Nodame… it's really great of you to be my partner on this last assignment. I guess no one wanted to be stuck with the new boy." 

"I'm the lucky one… your wife is a great cook."

"I have never seen a woman eat as much you, Nodame, and not grow fat."

"Lucky, I guess." She looked around and then asked, "Where's Anya?"

"She's taken Petr to kindergarten, she'll be back soon."

"You know, Tomas, I almost became a kindergarten teacher."

"You're joking right? You?"

"Yeah, strange eh? But I did consider it seriously at one stage."

"It would have been a complete waste of your talent."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely… you're one of the most exciting pianists I have ever heard. Your Chopin at the competition was out of this world."

She convulsed into a spate of giggles. "Senpai used to tell me that I was the most undisciplined pianist he'd ever met."

"Senpai?"

"Oh, he's my… er… friend… He's the principal conductor of the Roux-Marlet orchestra."

"The Roux-Marlet? I heard that they're really good."

"Oh they are but of course, I'm a bit biased."

"I'd like to go and hear them play but while I'm a student with a wife and son, we can't afford too many extras."

"Hey, tell you what… I'll get you a ticket… The man at the box office knows me." _At least I hope he remembers me._

"Really?"

"No problems… leave it to me…" She promised.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Nodame was found outside the Roux-Marlet box office haggling with the cashier. Nodame being Nodame was pulling out all the stops. Fortunately for her, the cashier, Pierre was in an agreeable frame of mind. 

"C'mon Pierre… surely you can spare me another ticket?"

"I could get into trouble for this…"

"Please... it's for me and a friend… He can't afford to buy his own ticket. Please… " She pleaded in her most pathetic tone of voice.

"I guess it should be okay seeing that you're Chiaki's girlfriend."

Nodame didn't bother correcting him and palmed the tickets quickly before he changed his mind.

"You're a treasure, Pierre." She reached over, squeezed his hand and flashed him a brilliant smile.

She then took off, not before picking up her red scarf which had fallen to the ground.

Shinichi was getting out of his car, when he saw the owner and the familiar red scarf flying off in the opposite direction.

_Nodame? She was here?_

"Pierre, who was that I saw leaving?" He asked the cashier casually.

"Oh, that was Mademoiselle Nodame…"

"Was she looking for me?"

"No. She wanted two tickets for tomorrow night's performance."

"Two tickets? Did she say who the other one was for?"

"No… just that it was for a friend who couldn't afford to buy one. Did I do the right thing? I thought you wouldn't have minded."

"It's fine, Pierre." _So, she's coming. I wonder who she's bringing_.

"Come to think of it I haven't seen her around much lately." Pierre observed thoughtfully.

"Busy with school…" was the glib, distracted response.

* * *

The Friday night crowd, made up of regulars and first-time patrons, streamed into the lobby at 7:15. Nodame was frantically waving at a tall, dark-haired Caucasian male in his 30s. His demeanour reflected his growing anxiety at Nodame's tardiness. 

"Tomas, over here!" She gestured for him to come to her.

"Nodame, I'm glad you're here. I was beginning to worry." He relief was evident.

"Sorry, I'm a little late… I fell asleep studying… Got here as soon as I could. I haven't had dinner yet." Nodame apologized profusely.

"Why don't you come over afterwards for dinner? Anya always cooks enough to feed 10 people anyway."

"I won't say no to food… never…"

They both laughed and joined the queue to the entrance.

* * *

Chiaki, aware that she was going to make an appearance, scanned the crowd as he walked on stage and saw her sitting in the third row with an older Caucasian male. They appeared to be free and easy in one another's company. 

_I haven't seen her this relaxed and happy for some time. I wonder if he has anything to do with it._

Summoning all his concentration powers, he set aside all thoughts of Nodame and her male companion. _After all, the show must go on._

* * *

At the end of the performance, the crowd filed out onto the streets… Some lingered: old friends catching up, giving their appraisal of the concert and gossiping about current events. 

"I didn't realize the conductor was Japanese… and so young too." Tomas remarked as they walked out of the auditorium.

"Yeah, he was my senior at my University in Japan."

"Really? He's definitely very gifted."

"Yeah, he is…"

"Nodame, I want to thank you so much for arranging this… It's been a while since I've been to something like this."

"It's a pleasure."

"I just wish Anya had been here to experience it."

"Don't worry… the next time you can both come together and I'll babysit."

"If I weren't a married man, I would kiss you right now."

Chiaki, now dressed in everyday wear, snuck out through the back door to look for Nodame among the crowds of people. He had spotted them talking outside, and wandered towards them.

"Nodame, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Chiaki prompted as he walked in on their tete-a-tete, putting on his most genial mien.

Nodame looked a little sheepish._ I wonder if he found out about the tickets._

"Er… Senpai, this is my classmate, Tomas Blaha… and this is Shinichi Chiaki, principal conductor of the Roux-Marlet."

The two men shook hands and Tomas gushed enthusiastically.

"So pleased to meet you, Mr Chiaki… That was a wonderful performance."

"Thank you." _He seems rather nice. _"Actually, if you both aren't doing anything tonight, would you like to join me for coffee at the café down the street. We can talk further there."

"Ah… senpai, I'm sorry but we arranged to have dinner at Tomas' place. I left in such a hurry that I didn't have time to eat. I'm starving." Nodame seemed anxious to leave.

"Another time then?" Shinichi said, apparently not very disappointed.

"Sure… c'mon Tomas, let's go… My mouth is watering just thinking about the knedlíky." She drooled in anticipation as she dragged an amused but slightly embarrassed Tomas away. She gave Chiaki a wave before disappearing from sight.

_So he's Czech? And he cooks as well… Trust Nodame to go where the food is._

_I guess Dad's right… I can't expect her to sit around and wait for me forever. Still that was quick._

That night, Chiaki Shinichi, conductor extraordinaire, for whom the world was his oyster felt a deep lingering sense of sadness that he had irretrievably lost something very precious.

* * *

A week later, he espied Nodame at the box office trying to wangle another two tickets from the cashier. He was in his office and wondered what they commotion was all about 

"C'mon Pierre… I'm a student. Take pity on me." He managed to hear her declare in protest.

"The orchestra will end up in bankruptcy if all our patrons get their way." was the equally determined comeback.

Shinichi looked on for some moments, amused at her cajoling and blustering… but all of her charms were lost on the hardened cashier.

_I can't believe that all the things that used to irritate me about her are the things I miss the most._

As Chiaki watched Nodame storm off in annoyed defeat, he realized that he hated the thought of being a bystander in her life.

Later, he went to Pierre's office and had him send off two tickets to Megumi Noda with compliments of the orchestra.

* * *

Chiaki, who was expecting to see Nodame and Tomas at the next performance saw instead Tomas holding hands with an attractive blonde. Naturally, that excited his curiosity. 

_I thought he and Nodame were… Who is this woman?_

"Mr Blaha, you've graced us with your presence once again, I see." He offered his hand which Tomas took delightedly.

"Chiaki, that was fantastic. Wasn't it, Anya? It's largely due to you that the orchestra exudes such incredible energy." Tomas had turned to the blonde next to him, who was nodding agreeably. "And Nodame says that it's you we have to thank for this."

_Huh?_

"It's so hard for Anya and I to get out together… especially with a four year old. So you have no idea how wonderful it is for us to be out alone together. Thank you so much, for the tickets." He was still holding on to Shinichi's hand and shaking it vigorously

_Huh? So Nodame isn't dating him… He's got a family?_ Shinichi was a in a daze.

"Eh… you're welcome…" _I think. _"Would you both like to join me for a drink?"

"Sorry, we should get back… Nodame is babysitting… We're hoping that she hasn't set fire to the apartment yet." Tomas was grinning mischievously.

"Mr Chiaki, why don't you come for dinner on Thursday night? We'll ask Nodame as well." Anya spoke in halting French.

"Yeah, why don't you? Anya's knedlíkys are to die for."

Shinichi didn't much persuading.

"Well, it's a long time since I've had any Czech homemade cooking. It'll be a great pleasure." Shinichi had switched to Czech.

"You speak Czech too?"

"A little. I lived in Prague as a boy. I'm very rusty though."

"Then we'll have a lot to talk about."

Tomas quickly scribbled their home address. "We'll expect you at 6:30… Tuesday evening."

"I'll be there."

Spending the evening with the Blahas, Chiaki realized why Nodame was attracted to them. Apart from the first class dinner, they were a happily married couple with a small child. Although they struggled financially on his stipend, they had a certainty and confidence in their relationship that she probably admired and craved. He smiled indulgently when she wrestled with young Petr… and when she valiantly tried to teach him Japanese. Being with this couple gave her an anchor which had been lacking in her life. It was good to see Nodame so happy… when he himself had been incapable of giving her nothing but misery.

Chiaki couldn't help feeling envious himself… He didn't mind the moving around so much in his earlier years but after the divorce, his father didn't seem to care too much whether he had a son or not. He had an inkling that things weren't well between his parents before that but Chiaki Shinichi was a boy that hid in his music… his escape from the harsh realities of life.

But it was more than that… he knew that his indecision had been the cause of estrangement and the widening distance between Nodame and himself. Because he was afraid of giving too much, he ended up giving too little. His regrets were many and prayed fervently that heaven would give him a second chance.

* * *

When their guests left, the Blahas pottered around the kitchen and conversed among themselves. 

"Did you say that Chiaki and Nodame were just friends from university?"

"Yeah, that's what she said."

"Strange…"

"Why…

"I swear from the way he was looking at her the entire evening that they are more than just friends."

"Chiaki and Nodame, an item? I didn't notice…"

"Of course, you didn't… you're a man… But the more important question is… did she?"

* * *

Chiaki offered to take Nodame home which she assented to nervously.

In the car, she was uncharacteristically quiet, staring out the window. This compelled Chiaki to fill the gaping silence.

"I like your friends… they're good people." He remarked and stole a quick glance at her.

"Yeah, I go there a lot… Anya is a great cook."

"Speaking of great cooking," Chiaki began awkwardly, " I know of a great Indian restaurant near the Conservatoire. Would you like to have dinner with me next week some time? It's been a while since we've had dinner together." _It's now or never._

"I suppose." She agreed… seemingly reluctantly.

"It doesn't have to be Indian, if you don't like Indian cuisine."

"Indian is fine. It's just that…" Her voice trailed off

"Huh?"

"It's just dinner, right?"

"If you like. We can catch a movie later if you want… there's a Truffaut retrospective in one of the cinemas that looks interesting."

"No… dinner is good. I only… wondered…"

"Yes?"

"Never mind…" She muttered before staring outside the window again.

* * *

"While I liked the food here, I think I like your curry better, senpai." Nodame commented as they walked out of the Indian restaurant. It was then that he realized then that he had forgotten about the curry that he had sent her weeks ago. 

It was a pleasant evening and they decided to take a walk around the town.

"You know, Nodame, if we saw each other more often, I could cook you curry as often as you liked." Shinichi remarked with calculated nonchalance.

"I don't think curry is something that should be eaten everyday." Nodame responded thoughtfully.

"Indians have it every day." Shinichi reminded.

"True, but I'm not Indian." was the comeback. "I think curry should be reserved for special occasions."

"Well, I don't have to cook curry everyday… I can do other things you know." Shinichi was beginning to feel exasperated.

"It seems to me that the right mix of ingredients is key to good curry… I can never seem to get it right myself." Nodame seemed lost in her own thoughts. "Sometimes I wonder if I should just forget it and leave it to the experts. It'll probably be easier just going to a restaurant. No need to clean up afterwards."

Then rather abruptly, she turned to him and asked.

"Why did you tell the nurse that you were my fiancé?"

_Huh? _The change in subject took him by surprise.

"Eh… it wasn't me… Kuroki told them that so that they'd let me see you."

"Oh… " was all she said before falling silent for some moments. "I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable you… sleeping on the couch in the hospital."

"No, I was fine." Shinichi replied, mystified by this turn of conversation.

Once again, silence sprung up between them and Shinichi didn't know how to continue the conversation. There was so much he wanted to say to her but he didn't know how. Dropping hints about their getting back together made no headway, if anything, she seemed more withdrawn and cryptic. Feeling discouraged, he nursed a creeping suspicion that Nodame had lost all interest in being with him._What if she's given up?_

They continued walking for some distance, making the odd desultory comments along the way. Eventually, they reached the entrance to her apartment.

"You don't have to walk me to my door…" She sounded curt.

"I don't mind." He followed her up the stairs, neither saying very much.

"Well, thanks for the walk and for dinner. We should do this again." She said sounding unnaturally polite.

"We should. How about Wednesday night?" He made it as natural sounding as he could.

"Wednesday night is fine." She nodded, turned to unlock the door and walked into her apartment, quickly closing the door behind her, making no move to invite him in.

Nodame was behaving strangely even for Nodame.

* * *

This mannered baroque dance was enacted for two weeks like a mundane ritual. Dinner or a show, polite conversation about everything except what they both really wanted to talk about. It would all end amicably and then Shinichi would take her back to her apartment. Nodame would quickly say her farewells and then disappear into her apartment. 

Shinichi was growing restless… and so was his dissatisfaction with the status quo. Two weeks of this was more than what he could stomach. What was more, Nodame's polite indifference was driving him to distraction.

The night after a performance, he took her home to her apartment and dropped her off as usual. She mumbled her thanks and told him not to worry about accompanying her to her apartment. He drove towards his apartment for a short distance before slamming on the brakes.

_This is ridiculous…__How long is this going to go on for?_ Shinichi muttered to himself… _What are we doing, going through this charade night after night? _

He made a resolution, turned around and went back to her apartment… _Hell! Even if she throws me out…_

He rapped on her door twice… It was a minute or two before she came to the door. To say that she was surprised to see him was an understatement.

"What is it, senpai? Did you forget something?" Her eyes looked slightly bloodshot. _Had she been crying?_

"Yes, I did…" He hesitated momentarily but only momentarily. Searching her face and leaning closer, he saw the yearning in her eyes. Drawing her closer to him, he gently brushed his lips against hers. Weeks of hesitation, missteps and doubt all found their absolution as their lips came together in unison. Desire and tenderness overcame dread and sorrow.

"I've missed you, Megumi." He whispered tenderly when he finally came up for air. It had been far too long and he was reluctant to let go for fear of losing her again.

The tears trickled down her face… "I've missed you too, senpai. Very much."

"Why didn't you say something?" His fingers gently tracing her tears and pulling her closer to him.

"I wasn't sure… I didn't know if you still cared… I was just happy you wanted to see me." Surrendering to his embrace, she wrapped her arms around his slender figure

"Of course, I wanted to see you… but not just as some routine in my day."

"I didn't know how you really felt. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. I wanted you to choose me from the bottom of your heart." She responded with more happy tears. "But then seeing you again... I knew I just couldn't let go... whether you really wanted me or not. Having curry without the meat was better than no curry at all."

"Idiot… curry also gets it flavour from the meat… from cooking them together, the meat adds flavour to the curry and the spices are absorbed into the meat."

"You'll have to show me some time…" She murmured burying her tear-stained face in his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere… and yes, I choose you from the top, bottom, length and breadth of my heart." Oblivious to onlookers who were smiling their relief at this long awaited reconciliation, Chiaki Shinichi gave himself over to the passion that had been held captive by his own indecisiveness. The object of his affections gladly acquiesced, as she dissolved ecstatically under the intensity of his kisses.

_I tried to run  
You tried to hide  
But fate wasn't done  
As our worlds collide  
Neither of us could deny  
What we felt deep inside._

Author's Note: 

_You didn't really think I was going for a sad ending, did you? Gyabo! This is Nodame not a Victorian tearjerker. Anyway, last time I heard, romantic comedies are supposed to be romantic stories with happy endings. _

_Thank you all for your comments and feedback especially those who have been with me from the beginning. I began writing this as a reaction to the fact that there's so little of Nodame fanfics on the net. It is my first foray into anime/manga fandom. I cannot believe what began as a seed grew into something that took over my imagination. _

_I am ending this particular story here and may revisit it in the form of a sequel in the far flung future. I don't believe in dragging out dramatic scenarios for too long as I belong to the school of thought that says "less is often times more". Currently I am developing another idea… something entirely different to this. But life's busy and I have a family to think about so I'm not sure when I'll be able to start writing again. _

_Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. _


End file.
